ZINE GOALS for 2019

so, i kind of didn’t do any of the zines i intended to do in 2018 because what else is new, but i also didn’t do a blog about my zine goals (just tweets and they can be easily forgotten!) so i’m gonna write them here, keep me accountable or whatever.

✨ RENAME THE DISTRO, RELAUNCH AND THEN STAY ON TOP OF DISTRO STUFF!

i’ve been thinking about renaming the distro for a while now, i just don’t feel right about the sushi part anymore because a) cultural appropriation type stuff, b) it doesn’t feel like it really describes the distro in the right way and c) i don’t even particularly like sushi. (i named it on a whim after a song me & carl liked because mostly the vampire part) i just don’t think aged well, and i think i’ve finally chosen the new name and it feels more appropriate. i’m hoping to have everything at least renamingwise (like new domain name, forwarding, new email and social media handles etc etc) sorted out by february so i can go by the new name at weirdo zine fest on february 9th.

✨ FINISH THE ZINE ABOUT GOING TO FINLAND IN 2016.

this one is ALMOST FINISHED, so i’m hoping it will be done this spring. most of it is written, i just need to write a few more extra bits like an intro, and list of things to do in finland and a pulla recipe that needs testing. and obviously i need to do the layout etc. i need access to a printer to do it properly, and well i still haven’t bought that big old printer i’ve been planning to because money and i don’t know where i’ll put it and other poor excuses. hopefully it will be done in time for glasgow zine fest in april or swansea zine fest in may at the latest. i was hoping for weirdo zine fest in just under a month, but i don’t want  to rush it because after all this time i want it to be ~*perfect*~ whatever  the hell that means.

✨ WRITE THAT ZINE ABOUT GRIEF AND GOING TO NORWAY FOR MY FRIEND KASPER’S FUNERAL.

again about something from 2016. i’ve written some of this but to be honest i’m not sure what i’ve done with the text so far, as my old computer died in march and i haven’t been able to rummage through the old computer’s files yet.

✨ FAITH THE VAMPIRE SLAYER FANZINE

i put out the call for submissions a few months ago and a lot of people seemed interested but of course i haven’t received any actual submissions yet, i just keep moving the deadline and not promoting it properly because reasons. but i’m gonna fucking do it this year.

✨ A FEMINIST COMPILATION ZINE THATS SUITABLE & ACCESSIBLE FOR ALL AGES

i had this idea back in 2016 but then i didn’t do anything because a few days later my friend kasper died and i got rather distracted. every so often i have people asking if i stock any zines that are suitable for kids and then i realise most of them are not at all, and i want to make something that’s accessible to kids without being condescending but there is no way i can do it by myself. i think this year i will finally do it, or at least put out a call for submissions, i just need to write it.

✨ MAKE A DISTRO BIRTHDAY COMPILATION ZINE!

vampire sushi (or whatever i’m going to rename it to) is going to be TEN YEARS OLD THIS HALLOWEEN! i haven’t made for a few years but i think this is the year to definitely make one. i also kind of want to have a party but wouldn’t know where or what to do really. (if anyone has affordable ideas, let me know?)

✨ MAKE A ‘NORMAL’ ISSUE OF YOUR PRETTY FACE THAT ISN’T ABOUT ONE BIG THING, and isn’t made in a massive rush so i can have something new at a zinefest & isn’t about how i can’t write anymore or about how i’m trying to make a band happen or how it’s not happening. that seems to have been my process for the last few issues. and i don’t like it.

i’m not expecting to do all of these, but i would like to tick at least three of them off, in addition to the first one. the first thing has to be done.


 

so long, 2018 👋

what did i do in 2018, let’s make list for my benefit more than anyone else’s. i always feel like it’s been a crap year and i did nothing, so making a list is helpful / makes me feel better / like i know what has happened.

 

January

✨ i went to margate to visit my pal emma and celebrate her birthday. margate in january is grim but kinda nice.

✨ i went to see HAMILTON and i had a 4th row seat because my friend roisi had a spare ticket. it was expensive as heck but worth it because it was incredible! it was a matinee and afterwards we waited outside and got our tickets/programs signed by Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr, Hercules Mulligan/James Madison, John Laurens/Philip H and King George III. afterwards i went shopping on oxford street.

✨ then two days later i went to london again to hang out with my spooky pal eve to see the tove jansson exhibition. we were also going to go to the Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities to see the museum of witchcraft exhibition but they were full at the time and there was an hours wait and if we waited we wouldn’t have got to the Tove Jansson exhibition in time for our booking. Thankfully the witchcraft museum stuff was downstairs in the bar bit and the staff let us have a quick look at them. We decided to come back next time and headed to south london. We went to the Horniman museum instead because it was not too far from Dulwich where the tove exhibition was and looked at all the dead animals, before heading over to Dulwich where we bumped into a bunch of my other friends who’d already been to see the exhibition earlier. I hadn’t expected to see them as their booking was several hours before ours. The Tove exhibition was nice but i was slightly disappointed because of course i’d already seen everything at the centenial exhibition and the bits i was really hoping to see weren’t there. A lot of our plans went wrong but we had a really nice time again <3

February

✨ it was carl’s birthday and i made him a wookie without a pattern using fleece yarn that was a nightmare to work with because i couldn’t see any of the stitches from the fluff but it came out really nice <3

✨ i went to the february loco cabaret, and it was my first burlesque and drag show. it was a delight and i’ve only missed one of them since.

✨ at the end of the month it SNOWED SO MUCH I COULDN’T GET TO WORK FOR ALMOST A WEEK. it was beautiful

✨ i went to see black panther, it was really good.

March

✨ i got my hair cut back to a short bob.

✨ i placed 2ND PLACE IN THE EASTER BAKE OFF AT WORK with my vanilla rahkapulla. i had to make the dough a couple of times, and the first time it went horribly wrong. i used the recipe from the moomin cookbook and let me tell you, THAT RECIPE IS SO WRONG. honestly, never use it. there must have been a misprint, or someone didn’t test the damn recipe. it was just too wet = too much liquid or not enough flour. so i had to try again with a trusty finnish recipe i checked with my mum and it came out good, but denser than i intended so i still made another patch the night before the bake off. i was so proud of myself.

✨ i went to see lady bird and shape of water, and i went to a scream unseen showing that ended up being ghost stories. i remembered i should not go see horror movies at the cinema because i’m a screamer. oops.

April

✨ I DYED MY HAIR GREEN, except instead of a really dark kind blackish forest green, it turned out really bright turquoise, but i didn’t care because even though it didn’t end up as planned, it was still great! i felt like i was finally evolving into my true form.

✨ i went to glasgow for glasgow zine fest and lori hangs and we ate out a lot, went to karaoke, a fabulous drag queen with a fish called me ‘iconic’ and i sold some zines. i had a lovely time <3 i arrived thursday morning but i can’t remember what we did thursday anymore. on friday me and lori went to  tuk tuk and ate a lot of nice indian food before meeting up with biddles and going to karaoke at art school. i did telephone by lady gaga and beyonce with biddles and celebrity skin by hole by myself and the host called me mayhem miller. sadly i didn’t get a chance to sing again because it got busy and they prioritised people who hadn’t already sung. it was really fum and there were a lot of great over the top performances, and a drag queen with a trout called me ‘iconic’ in the bathroom. (another highlight of the year) on saturday it was the first day of zine fest and i tabled & lori helped and afterwards we went to eat at flying duck with kirsty and alex and vicky, and that was yum af too, and sunday it was zine fest time again, and monday night it was time to come home again on the overnight mega bus.

✨ i went to another loco cabaret and had much fun. someone who arrived late told me they thought i was one of the performers (i suspect the amount of glitter i was wearing)

✨ i made a new little zine using the risograph at intra, where i was helping run some zine workshops. i actually did a work shop pretty much every month until august. it was good fun but a few times we didn’t have anyone show up, or we only had one student. i wish we were still doing it but unfortunately the council grant for the workshops ran out.

✨ our new boiler was finally fully finished and inspected at some point in april. it was originally supposed to be done on JANUARY 31st but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. (there were parts missing, engineer had to cancel because his whole family was sick, couldn’t book another engineer for a month, then they realised they had to check for asbestos before the boiler could be done, then the asbestos person couldn’t come because of the snow, then we had to wait ages for the asbestos test results, except no one called as back for like a month so i had to chase it and then there was still a fuck up with the parts and so on… i can’t even remember everything anymore. basicly the company in charge couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. thank fuck there was nothing wrong with the old boiler, it was just due an upgrade by the housing association.)

May

✨i got the megabus to manchester for northwest zine fest and i stayed at ingrid’s and i had a very nice time. i also had the best vegan salted caramel cake ever (it was still moist the next day because i forgot to eat it straight away)

✨ carl broke our internet the day before my megabus and the engineer didn’t arrive to fix it while i was away and i had a bunch of trouble booking the repair again because it was a bank holiday weekend. poor carl, all alone at home, no internet for company.

✨ i got new glasses, i finally have cat eye glasses!

✨ i went to manchester again (two weeks later) this time for het’s not wedding = 10th anniversary party, and the food there was great and i got to hang out with pals again and do a little dance and drink a lot of prosecco.

✨ then the next weekend i went to london with becky to see the Werq the World tour and we saw sharon needles, kennedy davenport, detox, valentina, latrice royale, kim chi, violet chachki and lady bunny. we had seats up on the balcony which meant not a great view but we got to sit down so that was nice? becky was supposed to go with clive (her boyfriend, carl’s brother) but i managed to convince him i would be more fun company than clive since he doesn’t get drag.

June

✨ my oldest internet friend riikka was in london so i hopped the train on my day off and we hung out and went fat babe shopping <3

✨ midsummer night magic themed loco cabaret, and i made an amazing (but uncomfortable) flower headpiece for myself, and looked incredible, even if i say so myself, except other people said that too!

✨ i lost my lift to work so i asked to start working from home and my manager said they’d think about it.

✨ it was my birthday, i turned 36.

✨ i went back on my anxiety medication. i’d stopped 8 years ago because it was too stressful to get the prescription renewed each month. i also signed up to a different doctor’s surgery that’s closer to my house AND a lot smaller so it’s a lot easier to get an appointment.

July

✨ our bathroom was redone (another housing association upgrade) the builder painted the walls white, and i got some nice lavender paint and now the bathrooms are all pretty and lavender.

✨ i had my roots done, using crazy color and it was not great after a few weeks :( but i mean it was still green, but the green roots faded really fast to barely green and the rest back to the mint it was before to dye job.

✨ i went to margate to see martha (the band) and my friend ed gave me a lift. it was nice.

✨ i tabled at PROCESSFEST at the somerset house.

August

✨ i went to margate for my first ever pride (can you believe it?)

✨ i tabled at swindon zinefest.

September

✨ in the beginning of the month i broke a tooth on an M&S sandwich i ate at a communal lunch at work and i ended up going to the dentist for the first time in 10 years. i’m not a fan of dentists and i was absolutely terrified.

✨ on september 18th I STARTED WORKING FROM HOME. i had to move furniture and re-arrange the living room to make space for a massive desk for the work computer & 2 screens, and i managed to clear out some stuff and find things i hadn’t seen in months. i’m just happy not to be commuting but of course it ain’t perfect (but i didn’t expect it to be)

October

✨ got my hair did again, this time apple green by directions and it came out good.

✨ i went to the halloween loco cabaret dressed as a pumpkin and I WON BEST COSTUME. there were only about 5 people who were dressed up, but still!

✨ i went to glasgow for the halloween weekend to hang out with lori and we did many things. i arrived thursday morning, gave andy my suitcase and went into town to do halloween shopping (you know me!) and met lori & her pal jamie at a wetherspoons for one drink that turned into at least five bottles of prosecco, no real dinner and getting back to lori’s v v drunk. friday we went to the spook school spooktacular which was great and had ghosts stealing a monster mash and a lot of potato based jokes. saturday we went to a 90s/00s halloween party and everyone thought i was the joker even though i was dressed as courtney love (lori was buffy omg omg) sunday was hangover day and monday we went to the heels of hell tour and saw many beautiful drag queens (my personal highlights were florida man of sexy voldemort fame, aja, latrice royale, willam, alaska and morgan mcmichaels, whom we met afterwards and she was a sweetie) and then got very very drunk again. tuesday we were very hungover AND the nasty cold i’d been kinda maybe carrying around for a bit decided to kick in full on so that was fun, and then i got the megabus home at midnight.

November

✨ i was off sick for the beginning of the month. i was supposed to be back at work on the friday after halloween (thursday is my day off) but i ended up not doing a full day of work til the NEXT FRIDAY because i was so sick and totally exhausted from being sick. good times.

✨ i was supposed to go to london and see pals and then go to the guttful album launch on th 10th, but i was worried i was still a bit too sick and might make it worse, so i cancelled my plans.

✨ on 16th i went to margate to see Cat Apostrophe, and i bought a lot of wool from a charity shop and went to the Shell Grotto before hand. Elsewhere is a really nice venue and my friend Emma was putting on the gig, and Cat Apostrophe were great. it was good too hang out with pals. it was a good time.

✨ OOPS except i picked up some germs in Margate and i was too sick to work even from home again for like a week. for fucks sake.

December

✨thanks to being off sick so much in november i was about £200 short on my wages :( i still managed to go overboard with presents but also didn’t go into my overdraft as far as i know! (i’ve been getting a text from my bank when i’m near my overdraft and if  i go overdrawn. as far as i know they’re still doing it but i haven’t had a text since i started working from home. probably because i’m saving like £50-£60 a week on not commuting)

✨i went to margate to see suggested friends because my pal ed asked if i was going and he gave me a lift. yay. i was supposed to go see them in october in rainham but then the gig was rescheduled and it clashed with my glasgow trip. i was also supposed to go see fightmilk and chorusgirl in rainham in december but it was raining that day and i was just not in the mood to leave the house after going into town to post my mum’s christmas parcel.

✨we finally put up the fairy lights we got last year to put up on the wall forever. we didn’t do it or any christmas decorating last year because i was too busy and carl was too sick with shingles. it looks really nice.

✨christmas loco cabaret was cancelled so the only christmassy thing i did outside christmas was go to my work’s christmas dinner in teynham and then i missed the train home and had to ask on of my colleagues to give me a lift and got us a bit lost because i can’t tell my left from right.

✨we went to carl’s mum’s for christmas AS ALWAYS. and we didn’t go anywhere for new years.