good riddance 2016

happy new year i guess? it’s no longer 2016 and i have been terrible at blogging and to be honest for the last six months there has been way too much to catch up on, so making a blog post has been way too taunting of a task. but it’s new year now and time to reflect or whatever so i guess i’ll try.

i was not good at keeping track of things last year. i have barely any blog posts and if i ain’t documented it in someway, it “never happened”. instagram & twitter kinda count i guess but they are a nightmare to scroll back on, to be quite honest.

even on a personal level 2016 was Not Good.

most of the year i was super duper broke, constantly overdrawn, because my job at the photo shop cut my hours and they were mega erratic, i never knew when i’d be working next week, so i couldn’t really make plans (not that i could afford to make plans) and often my wages were late, like they’d come in almost halfway through the month *glares* all this made me hate my job and have zero motivation to be there because i felt like they didn’t want me to be there either. but i still went in, unless i was sick, cos i needed the £££

my friend & ex band mate (from sean bean death scene) Louise died suddenly in april. she was the first person in my life who has died and been of ~my generation~, everyone else before had been grandparents or (other people’s) parents. we weren’t that close, i hadn’t spoken to her since halloween, but i didn’t take it well. i guess partly cos of guilt. kind of not helped by people who i knew had been closer to her asking me how i was holding up.(i know they were being excellent caring people but this is how my stupid brain works) i also started smoking again regularly after her funeral (i’d stopped in august when i ran out of tobacco while in leeds for a zine fest, and had only smoked while out since then)

i took brexit personally because to be honest, why shouldn’t i? i’m an eu immigrant and it’s going to affect my life A LOT. i’m not wanted here and depending on how it’s done, i might have to leave, which is scary because this has been my home for last 13 years and i’ve never been an ‘adult’ anywhere else. and if you voted leave, yes i do fucking take that personally.

then my one of my best friends of All Time, Kasper, died in august. that was awful and bizarre, because… just no. he was one of my Oldest Friends, since like the very beginning of this century. we hadn’t spoken for a while though, not cos we’d fallen out or anything, just.. life and distance. so i felt hella guilty too. there was a crowdfunder thing to get some of kasper’s friends to norway to his funeral, and i ended up being one of those people. the trip was both a good and a bad thing, or i guess more like good but heartbreakingly sad.

a bunch of bad shit happened to my friends, there were two miscarriages, another 2 friends discovered they have cancer, people lost jobs, broke up with long term partners, had other hard times and so on, and since i’m a cancer, if it’s bad for my pals, i’m sad too or something cos empathy and stuff. yeah and by the time we got to donald trump winning that election i was numb and unsurprised though disappointed. waking up that wednesday reminded me of the morning after brexit. typical 2016 bullshit. and dead celebrities i was most upset about: david bowie, prince and carrie fisher. (carrie was the most heart breaking tbh, cos i’d just decided earlier in the year i definitely wanted to meet her one day cos omg what a badass gem of a gal. and now it will never ever happen)

but i mean i guess it wasn’t all bad?

i went to finland in june to renew my passport and got to do karaoke and swim in lakes but also got bitten by all the mosquitos and my feet swell up as usual and i was hella broke which limited the things i could do. but i got to escape medway / travel / go home <3 maybe if it’s a hard brexit, going back to finland might not be so bad?

i also went  norway which was nice cos i had good company and northern norway is kind of magical but sucked because it was for a such a sad reason (kasper’s funeral) but at least i got to go on a small adventure, i guess? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i got a new job at the end of september and got to leave the hot mess of the photoshop and now i’m no longer permanently overdrawn and i actually have some money and i also get to speak finnish every day at work which is nice. though it is in sittingbourne and the commute really sucks (i leave house at 7.30 and get home about 7pm)

i also made prophecy girl a thing and did a couple of gigs playing my bass betsy AND singing all on my own (3 to be exact) at the beginning of the year we were a two piece (with orla) and had a gig booked at the beginning of may but we pulled out last minute because we hadn’t really had chance to practice and we didnt feel we were ready and we decided we needed to find a guitarist to fill in. but apparently it is really hard to find a guitarist in medway if you don’t want to play with cis dudes. oops. so after several months i was like FUCK IT. i’m tired of waiting for other people, i will do something alone in the meantime. and i did. so i’m pretty proud of that. and i recorded a little solo demo on my phone. (there’s also a 2 piece demo from the spring on the bandcamp page…)

and there’s always the little good things like zine fests (though i didnt do many, only six, due to that whole being broke thing) and gigs (pretty much only local ones, i dont think i went to any in london or anywhere further than rochester because of that whole £££ thing) and books and tv i got obsessed with and all that jazz. oh and i got 2 more tattoos after i got the new job yay.

i’m disappointed in myself because i just realised i only made ONE ZINE in 2016. and it wasn’t a proper one. like i made it in a month from prompts because i wanted to have a new zine for Weirdo Zine Fest. that was end of january. ugh. i’m like WHAT DID I DO WITH THIS YEAR? tbh i dont know. i mean i’ve been kind of writing at least two zines since summer/september, but it’s been a slow process. hopefully i’ll finish one of them for sheffield zine fest at the end of february. i guess i better get writing.

looking back 2016 seems like a transitional year, like an inbetween state, which sucks because that’s how 2015 was and i wanted to move forward after that meh storm. i dont have high hopes for 2017 (mostly because LOOK AT THE WORLD JFC) but maybe i’ll be ok? maybe i’ll write loads of zines and finally start working on my novel again and maybe that anthology of my old zines i keep talking about and maybe i’ll finally get my massive cattoo or afford to buy some replacement tech (i lost my shitty camera on a megabus, i need a new scanner, blah blah blah) maybe i’ll get a new band together finally, maybe i’ll finally stop stagnating. maybe i’ll write more blogs (yeah right) who knows.

but yeah on the whole 2016 was a shit upsetting year despite some nice things, it’s just the bad things were SO AWFUL there was no coming back from that epic bin fire.

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~* BIRTHDAY WISH LIST *~

here’s my birthday wishlist. it’s realistic and mostly for the benefit of carl & his family.


~ * some comic books * ~
JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS VOL 1: SHOWTIME (X)
THE WICKED AND THE DIVINE VOL 2: FANDEMONIUM (X)
ZODIAC STARFORCE VOL 1: BY THE POWER OF ASTRA (X)
ADVENTURE TIME: MARCELINE GONE ADRIFT (X)
BEE AND PUPPYCAT VOL 1 (X)
PAPER GIRLS VOL 1 (X)
GIANT DAYS VOL 1 (X)
GOTHAM ACADEMY VOL 2: CALAMITY (X)


~ * some graphic novels * ~
BLACK HOLE by Charles Burns (X)
IN REAL LIFE by Cody Doctorow & Jen Wang (X)
SKIM by by Mariko Tamaki & Jillian Tamaki (X)
SUPERMUTANT MAGIC ACADEMY by Jillian Tamaki (X)


2 garden chairs + table. preferable ones without arm rests, or a nice wide kind, so i can fit my butt in comfortably.
(pictured type is usually A++.) (pic via wilkinsons)


this fucking wonderwoman t-shirt from primark (the nightwear section which is much cooler than daywear)
(it also comes with rather fetching matching pink bottoms..)


some birthday euros for my travels <3

so i guess that’s it for now. it’s a pretty short and boring list, but to be honest all i want this year is garden furniture and comics. i thought about putting a distortion pedal for my bass on the list but i havent really had the chance to do research on what kind i want or need and i know absolutely nothing about them.

oh i also need a new lasagne dish, the old one is fucked. but i’m too tight to buy a new one


 

~~~ CATCH UP / LIFE UPDATE.

no vittu. i’ve been ‘no good’ at this blogging malarkey. almost two months of nothing. i have a bunch of excuses but in the end i just simply HAVEN’T FELT LIKE IT. there you go. and to be quite honest, i’m not really ~*feeling it*~ right now, but i feel like i should do a life update of mostly zine related things.

i’ve been tabling at some zine fests with Vampire Sushi Distro (sheffield zine fest, london radical bookfair and DIY cultures in london to be exact. photo of me & my table from london radical bookfair twitter!) and it’s been good times, hanging out with fellow zinesters and stuff. i was also supposed to do North West Zine Fest on june 18th but i can’t afford the travels so that’s cancelled for me. suxx to be me. though on the other hand I AM GOING TO FINLAND on 28th June til 8th July yay yay yay. if i wasn’t going, i would’ve been like fuck it i’m going to manchester (then again if i wasn’t going i wouldn’t be in need of travel fun funds) my official reason is life admin = getting my passport sorted, though to be honest i could do that at the embassy in london but my mum offered to pay for the travels, so how could i say no? besides early july is like the best time to go. fingers crossed for excellent swimming weather. i plan to spend as much time as possible in the water be it sea or lake, til i turn into a raisin. i’m going on my own which means i don’t have to worry about carl and whether he’s bored and confused or not. i also get to borrow my dad’s camera *strong arm emoji* i predict a ridiculous amount of pictures of everything and then some.

i’ve just done a massive update of Vampire Sushi Distro with almost 30 new zines, and a bunch of new 5″ x 7″ prints by me, cos i started drawing again the other week. also until june 26th you can have 10% off your order with the code KOTISEUDULLEPOHJOISKARJALAAN2016 at Vampire Sushi Distro because.. why not? birthday sale of sorts. and obviously i will not be posting out any orders while i’m in finland. i mean i guess i could make carl do it but naaah. i also have some things in my ETSY SHOP if you prefer that for some reason.


what else? not much i guess. i’m much more present on twitter than anywhere else if you want to keep an eye on me, and obviously i occasionally post pictures on instagram. i’m @kissakerho at both. & i’ll probably/hopefully make up some grab bags in the next week or two, and i guess i better do my annual birthday wishlist blog post like in the next week. it’s mostly for the benefit of carl’s family. who else buys me presents? obviously if you want to, you’re allowed. but yeah, that’s a thing for later. also i accidentally left my camera on the megabus when i went to sheffield. i’ve reported it to their lost & found but i have low hopes.

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